girl stuff behind the obligatory lj cut...

[lady_curmudgeon]

Period rant.

I'm one of those dames who takes the pill three or four months without the week off of hormones so I don't get a period every month. Well, this month is break month, so I've got my period. Boy, do I have it. Not heavy, but CRAMPS! I HATE CRAMPS!! I hate the rest of it, too, but cramps are the worst...Yuck. I hate being a girl.

Bra rant.

What the hell is the point of an A cup bra having underwire? There's nothing there to support, really, so why the piece of coat hanger under my tits? The extra support only makes what little is there slightly more perky than it would be without the hardware. A man musta come up with that idea...

Then there's the padding/no padding debate. Bras in my size either have a matress worth of padding/shove-em-together-to-make-em-look-bigger fortune cookie looking things or are as thin as tee shirt material. On the padded extreme, one looks obviously padded and false, particularly if one doesn't fill up the cups with their business. On the other extreme, if one gets a case of titty hard-on, one's nipples are so prominent through the thin material that one could cut glass with one's erect nipples through it...Me, I prefer the middle ground. Hanes her way cotton back hook no underwire bras are just the right amount of padding. And, they are notoriously hard to find, likely cuz everyone else likes em, too. Is everyone in Kenosha a 34 A for Gods' sake!??

Colors are also an issue for grrls who belong to the ittybittytitty committee. White, black, or beige. In the cotton hanes her way white or grey. More colors are available with that damned wire stuff. Anyway, I found some colored bras without the confounded wire that aren't terribly padded, either! Hanes her way has a new line that has soft cups without wire and vasarette has a "wireless" line now, too. I got plum, that funky lite flourescent lime sorta color and one that looks like a groovy shower curtain pattern from the sixties in turquoise, white and purple flowers! If the girls could talk, they would be SO EXCITED!!!

Alright, enough venting. Time for a hot bubble bath with The Communist Manifesto and then bed.

Comments

[moonjaguar.livejournal.com]

I get cramps midmonth even though I had a hysterectomy. I wonder if it's a sort of phantom pain syndrome? But they're pretty weak, Advil and boom! gone, unlike the ones I got when I still had periods.

I'll gladly donate some of my boobage. I would like to buy bras that have less than three or four hooks. Pretty bras in my size=useless. That and I wonder why it is they have so many soft cup nothings in a 42D? Might as well go without for all the good they do.

boobage...

[lady-curmudgeon.livejournal.com]

There are some times when I wish I was better endowed, but for the most part I'm glad I got small ones in the tit lottery. I've had too many female friends over the years tell me their stories of woe about their bigguns.;/

I have to say the only time I've really wished for bigger boobs was during high school when looking for the rare formal dance dress and for my wedding. The only time I've ever done the falsies thing was for my wedding gown. I had the seamstress sew bra cups into the bodice. They were lined with this rough sorta tricot lining-and they ITCHED!!! But I was a B cup that day and no one (except mom and DH) was the wiser!

I swear, half the girl women at school have to be stuffin' or otherwise enhanced. I can't believe so many borderline anorexic looking chicks can have such big hooters! I mean, I know it's possible, but boobs are fat! How can a girl be so lucky as to be so skinny with such incredibly lucky fat placement?

Then again, back in the day when I weighed like 95 pounds I had a 23 inch waist and 38 hips! ZOWIE! Baby got back! Now baby's got more back--I gained like sixty pounds and where did most of it go? Certainly not on my chest, I can tell you that much.:) And people wonder why I favor really big shirts and baggy pants--camouflage!

Re: boobage...

[moonjaguar.livejournal.com]

I've noticed that, the skinny youngster with big fat hooters. I'm thinking bra help is a big factor, though some may be implanted. I had a roommate who was a little 5'3" 90 pounder and she was all boobs. Hers sagged mightily at 20. Certain industrial strength shape and form bras would give her a more rounded shape up top.

I lost in the ass lottery, dammit. I always had a flat ass up until about the past year. I'd love an ass that sticks out! As well as hips. I have absolutely none!! Ah well... I guess the boobage makes up I think...

[boomtownrat.livejournal.com]

Colours (or lack thereof) are also a problem for those of us who are, uh, "well-endowed" (I still get embarrassed mentioning that, how juvenile of me). I can't remember the last time I found some colour besides white, black, or beige. (I could go to Frederick's of Hollywood, apparently, but I haven't tried yet.) In 38DDD, I can't find bras anywhere but department stores, where I'm certain to spend at least $20 or more per bra. I browse through the selections at Kmart or Target, hoping to find something. I see that smaller sizes are there and available for $10 or so in many colours, but there's nothing that fits me.

All of this is to say that I sometimes become convinced that it's just a conspiracy geared toward "average" sizes. :p Okay, I'm half-kidding.

not being an 'average' size woman...

[lady-curmudgeon.livejournal.com]

It's a total drag being anything other than what is considered an average size (or smaller...) in this country. My best friend is tall, big boned, and has big feet. She has to shop in the men's department for everything except underpants and bras. If she wants anything remotely feminine, it takes almost a miracle to find anything that fits her. It's a good thing she's a tomboy, or she would be surfin' the drag queen sites for clothes!

My sister-in-law (Doug's younger sister) is well-endowed and she always looks saggy. She says a new bra gives her support for about two or three wearings and it's shot. Because of that, she refuses to spend any more than she has to on them and she doesn't bother to care if she looks saggy or not. She's short and chunky, so she has trouble finding clothes that fit her, too. I guess there's no such thing as plus size petites.

I'm 5'1" and petites don't fit me for shit either. I think it's because I really should be closer to 5'4", but thanks to scoliosis...I've got long arms and legs, which aren't petite friendly. We won't discuss my big ol' butt..:)

These are some of the many reasons I don't like being a girl...

Re: not being an 'average' size woman...

[boomtownrat.livejournal.com]

I'm tall enough that I have a few problems buying clothes, but I don't buy clothes often. Buying shirts is the trickiest thing for me, as there's a fine line between wearing a tent and looking like a tart because the shirt fits too snugly. I have tiny feet, though; a friend of mine is about nine inches shorter than me but we both wear size 7 shoes.

Bras do wear out faster for me than they did when I was smaller, but I've found good brands and I stick to them. I can't even find cheap bras anymore but it's just as well; I can't stand bras that don't support.

Do you ever think of how nice it must be to be able to afford tailor-made clothes? It would solve so many of these problems.

Re: not being an 'average' size woman...

[lady-curmudgeon.livejournal.com]

I would LOVE to be able to afford tailor made clothes!! On top of the scoliosis, my left leg is 3/4 of an inch shorter than my right one. The difference isn't as noticable when I wear pants, but it's really noticable when I wear skirts. The only skirts I wear are long broomstick style skirts that tie or have elastic waists--they're easier to adjust at the waist so the hem looks even. Of course, with the creative waist adjustment I have to wear long shirts or sweaters over them so the uneven waist fixage doesn't show. Gawd, am I a mess!

As for shoes, I'm a 7, too! I think it's cool because I can buy some of my shoes from the kids department. Converse chuck taylors are my absolute favorite shoes of all time and I can get 'em in kid sizes 4 1/2 or 5! Excellent!

Re: not being an 'average' size woman...

[moonjaguar.livejournal.com]

I'm definitely not "average sized" and I wear a size 11 shoe. Great joy!

Then again, I think this "average sized woman" or "average woman" thing is too simplistic. Get fifty random women in a room and you're going to see fifty different sizes, shapes, heights, weights, body configurations, skin tones and hair types. I'm also thinking of Playboy in its early incarnations. The women were of the Caucasian persuasion at that point but they were different heights, body shapes, boob sizes and more. Of course, there were no women posing who I'd call large or thin, most of them were kind of well-fed, some had bellies that stuck out or junk in the trunk. A little more variety for to look at, unlike now where even though Playboy's multiracial, the ladies look like they were turned out of the same Barbie factory.

Don't ferget those "soak 'em up" water bras!

[evilgreeneyes.livejournal.com]

LOL. What IS it with the fortune cookie inserts, anyway? Like, they serve a purpose? Ever seen one of those things after they have been washed? Looks lumpier than chicken and dumplings soup. :\

As I egotistically proclaim to be the Vice President of Public Relations for the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, I suggest we form a coalition with our graciously voluptious sisters. We shalt be, "Tha Bra Mongers on Midol Brigadiers." Yes, soon there will be colors, patterns, and sizes for us all...

Yes, I should stop sniffing pink glue someday. I'll put it on my lists of things to seriously consider doing in the next two days. Alongside finishing laundry and e-warring with everyone else... sigh. :)

Re: Don't ferget those "soak 'em up" water bras!

[lady-curmudgeon.livejournal.com]

Amen on the fortune cookie bras! I bought one of those because it was on sale for really cheap. The cookie things were removable, but like hell if you could get them back in there right. I swear I've seen this one kind of bra that's got air pockets you can inflate in them or something--I think that's what they were--just like those reebok basketball shoes from a decade ago...:))

I'm with ya on the various boob sized sistahs uniting! Someone's gotta be able to come up with better bra construction and ideas than the ones that are out there now! Good Lord!

Anyway, I really need to clean up around the house, catch up on filing the bills, and do homework this weekend. But, alas, homework will probably consume all my time. Is it May yet?

Re: Don't ferget those "soak 'em up" water bras!

[evilgreeneyes.livejournal.com]

>cringe< We haven't even hit Spring Break yet... :C. My SB will be spent at conferences -- and it will be my first flight to boot. Darn darn darn darn... bitch, whine, moanies.... >tig runs skeered and hides under bed until May

[oonie.livejournal.com]

i'd love to have cramps again *sigh*. i'm not by any means intending to invalidate your rant, but i haven't menstrated since october. i have a dr appointment this morning in fact to drop off some blood to have my hormone levels checked.

and bra woes? amen sister

not since October?!

[lady-curmudgeon.livejournal.com]

I would guess there's no possibility that you could be pregnant, right? Shit, I hate menstrual woes! I've always been as regular as timework and when I'm not on the pill I have the worst periods known to man. I really want to get a tubal, but I'm concerned that my doctor won't be willing to continue even a low dose pill to control my periods because I have high blood pressure. No way in hell am I gonna voluntarily go back to the hell of periods without the pill!

BTW, I loved your bra rant! Doesn't it seem like all the creepy old ladies work in the lingerie departments of department stores??? Yuck...

Re: not since October?!

[oonie.livejournal.com]

pregnant? nope, i am happily spayed :). i'm pretty sure it's hormonal and the charm of not having periods has worn off. i think it was the mood swings and the memory...what's that word when you can't find something that used to be readily available? oh, yeah...loss.